MUMBAI: Veteran actress Susmita Mukherjee opened up about balancing two contrasting identities after marriage, mentioning how she felt she was losing herself amidst living the dual life.
Revealing that she often felt like the iconic characters from the classic film Seeta Aur Geeta, Susmita expressed her emotions in detail.
Sharing a video on her social media account, the actress reflected on how her life changed after marrying into a conservative Thakur family and how she would switch between western attire and a traditional ghunghat depending on the occasion.
Susmita said, "I am half Indian and half English. I did my Masters in Miranda House in Delhi. Then I went to National Film Drama. And then I got married in Thakur. It was a very conservative family.”
She added, “And my husband has been doing Khajrao International Film Festival for the last 11 years in Khajrao, Bundelkhand. And I have a vertical on that, Kiff Conversation. So I do a podcast with very good Hollywood, Bollywood, international people. Or I do an interview or a chat. So I wear western clothes in that, normally. A lot of international people also come in that. And in the evening, because there is a cultural program in Bundelkhand, I am afraid that no in-laws will come in front of me. So I wear a veil."
She shared that her children had grown up seeing both versions of her and accepted them naturally.
"The kids have also seen since childhood that I wear a T-shirt and jeans at home. And my mother becomes a ‘Ghunghatwali’. And they are okay with it. Because obviously, whatever the kids have seen since childhood, they get conditioned."
Drawing a parallel with Ramesh Sippy's iconic film Seeta Aur Geeta, Susmita said she often compared herself to Hema Malini's double role.
"Then one day I thought to myself that I am Sita and Geeta. You know that old movie with Ramesh Sippy. Seeta and Geeta, Hema Ji plays a double role. So in the morning, I am Geeta. I wear very good western clothes, speak English. And in the evening, I am a Ghunghatwali. I become Sita. So people started making fun of me. Our team members said, 'Oh ma'am, you have become Seeta and Geeta.' I used to laugh and feel good. Because I am an actress. I play roles."
The actress admitted that constantly slipping into different roles eventually made her question her own identity.
"One day, last year, I thought that Seeta and Geeta are fine but where is Susmita? I was shocked. Where is Susmita? Seeta and Geeta is going on. So I started finding myself. What is my core essence? So I got a little hack. Slow down a little. Think about yourself. Connect with your heart beat. Connect with your heart beat. And... Get away from role-playing. Feel your thoughts. So I am trying to do that. I am trying to find Sushmita. Find all of you. If you are lost like me. Half desi, half English. This may resonate with you. Just sharing."
For the uninitiated, Susmita Mukherjee is known for her extensive work across films, television and theatre. Over the years, she has appeared in projects such as Khalnayak, King Uncle, Golmaal Returns, Dostana, Karamchand, Dill Mill Gayye and many more.
–IANS
